Raising Champions: Why the Second Stage of Parenting is All About Training

Parenting is all about training

What does an Olympic athlete do when they want to win a gold medal? They practice. And then they practice some more. They train relentlessly, not just for the competition, but to build muscle memory and instill habits that will serve them in the heat of the moment.

It turns out, the same goes for parenting.

We often think of parenting in stages, and while the early years are about setting boundaries and providing a loving foundation, the second stage—roughly ages 5 to 12—is all about training. This is the season where we move beyond simple discipline and begin to actively equip our children with the skills and values they need to succeed in life.

This training phase requires the discipline of the earlier years, but now we can add explanation. Our goal is to move from "because I said so" to teaching our children three simple but powerful lessons: "This is what we do," "This is why we do it," and "Let's make this into a habit."

The Golden Rule: Everything Needs Practice

Many parents mistakenly assume that children will naturally pick up good behavior. But just as a gymnast won’t learn a backflip without endless repetition, a child won’t learn social graces without active practice.

Have you ever seen a child misbehaving at a restaurant? More often than not, it’s because the parents have never practiced what good restaurant behavior looks like. Everything from waiting patiently for food to using an indoor voice and saying "please" and "thank you" is a skill that must be taught and practiced.

Practical Training Drills for Everyday Life

The most effective training in this season is for social skills. These are the soft skills that will help your child navigate friendships, school, and future relationships. Here are a few "drills" you can try:

• The "Quick Draw" Handshake: Manners start with a good greeting. To prepare for dinner guests, have your child go outside, ring the doorbell, and practice answering the door. Teach them their "quick draw"—getting their hands out and ready for a firm handshake and a clear greeting. This simple act builds confidence and makes a great first impression.

• Dinner Etiquette: Family meals are one of the most powerful training grounds. It’s the perfect opportunity to practice using utensils, listening to others, and engaging in conversation. Don’t be afraid to call a "redo" if the behavior isn’t up to scratch. Practice, after all, is repetition.

• The "Interrupt Rule": This is a game-changer for many parents. If you’re chatting with another adult and your child wants to talk to you, teach them to silently place their hand on your arm or leg to signal that they have something to say. This teaches them not to interrupt and to wait patiently for attention. It’s a habit that benefits everyone.

The Most Important Lesson? Have Fun!

The endless opportunities for training may sound like a lot of work, but the secret to this season is to make it fun. At this age, kids want to learn, and they'll try almost anything if it means they get to play with you. Frame these lessons as a game or a special activity you get to do together.

And remember to make the most of this enthusiasm, because as the article warns, it doesn't always carry over into the next season of parenting. So, take this precious time to build the foundation, make it a fun adventure, and watch your children grow into the champions you know they can be.